Ponderings & Musings (no sex, just ramblings)

Hello, reader.

Today, as I log back in, I have to admit this post won’t be about sex per se.

General musings

I’ve been thinking of a bunch of things… I get so many views, but few comments, shares, or followers. I wonder if it is lack of content. If I updated more regular, would I get more? Or is it just the desire not to be associated with some form of explicit or sexual content, at least that others can see? Shame and fear of discovery? Or just not interested and did a one-read and move on?  Within the last 19 days, someone googled my blog by name, so I wonder.

Also pondering what to do with myself when I am so freaking horny, but hubby is away. He is currently on a 4-day weekend business trip, and I have been horny as all hell thus far. Due to packing and getting ready, and a few social events in the days before, not much sex happened before he left. Now the want is worse, and he doesn’t come back until evening tomorrow. I am no good at orgasmic masturbation, and my toys are in dire need of upgrade (we don’t toy shop often, so we ‘love’ them until they start to wear out). I know, you probably don’t care and just want me to get to the juicy sexy stuff.


Speaking of toys, I have been peeking around at some new ones to purchase.  I am disappointed that my local sex shop (which is kinda small) doesn’t offer everything that has caught my eye. I have been cruising Babeland’s website this evening (also featured here), and this gem definitely piqued my interest.

The OhMiBod Bluemotion remote-controlled pantyvibe. Photo (c) belongs to Ohmibod. I do not own the photo or the info.

It is the OhMiBod Bluemotion remote-controlled pantyvibe. (Available at Babeland, and at the OhMiBod official site, among other places.)  What really interests me is the capacity to be controlled by an app, and from miles away (they boast it is usable across the US).  That could be fun. I would love to test it out, especially when my husband is away on business trips.  It doesn’t happen often, but this curvy, horny NDN prefers to be able to play together if he does go on one. Sometimes all I need is his presence and encouraging excitement while I masturbate to help me get close, but usually need help to get up over that orgasmic edge. My hands tend to stop moving when it gets too intense, hence not being good at making myself orgasm. Oh, and no wearing it at work, methinks.

Fucking with Friends?

So, through exploring my imagination, various toys and moods, and the internet world of pornography, I have found that I am very interested in the idea of gang-bang. Now, it doesn’t need to be violent, which the phrase tends to lead people to think.  I just mean group sex. Orgies, if that is the proper term. Ooh, I like a rough fuck sometimes, though.  But, strictly speaking, my rule is that sex must all be consensual and stop when one of us honestly says stop. (Playfully or Roleplaying saying ‘stop’ or ‘no’ doesn’t count, it has to be an honest ‘no more’ kind of thing. Or our safeword, which makes us both laugh so much we just have to stop.)

With that thought aside, I have learned that, in the right conditions, I enjoy DP. I even enjoy all three of my holes stimulated at the same time (usually the nether two by toys and my mouth with his cock). I enjoy being fucked hard. I enjoy being tied up, clamped, and having him in control (light BDSM). I can enjoy gentle strikes/slaps (though to my face tends to make me cry). I also enjoy being in control of him and doing what I want to his eager and waiting body. And, sometimes, I just want a simple and sweet sex experience. It all depends on my particular mood.

I like the romanticized idea, the portrayed fun, but… I don’t know that I can. I think about it and get anxious about losing my hubby, or that I am not being faithful. The logistics of sharing and who goes where… ugh. I worry about whether the new person(s) would like my body, which I am usually fine with and my husband loves despite my rolls and curves. I wonder if I will like their body, the smell of them, the taste of them… these imaginary people make me anxious, so I doubt this would ever really happen. But… still there are those moods of wanting all of my holes filled. Maybe having my tits fucked while I take another in my mouth and DP happens down below. The idea, even as I type, gets me wet. But those anxieties stop me. Maybe I will buy a fuckmachine….

Stay tuned. Next may be a sexcapade! ;-*


First Sexcapade Post of February, 2015

It has been a very eventful first month and a half of 2015. I have been crazy busy, so time where both of us are up for sexcapades has definitely decreased. We recently had a great one, though! I thought I would post about it.

As you guys know, anal play is not quite what we are into often within this household. It does work sometimes, though. Usually I am the one catching the play and the more passive player. I admit, light BDSM (probably barely counts) is something we are into – ropes, light smacking, nipping, teasing, being “aggressive” or being “in charge” can be fun… It is typically more of power-play wherein the balance shifts slightly so hubby gets to be in a more dominant role and do as he pleases, but not so far that I don’t get to have some say, or vice versa. We don’t do blood or bruises, and stop immediately if we ever feel wrong, off, or genuinely frightened (this happens sometimes). I don’t know if it counts as BDSM, though. Maybe just kinda rough sex. With some role play. I don’t know. Maybe someone well-versed in BDSM could tell us, but we don’t know anyone to ask (and I don’t exactly want to just ask anyone online).

During this last sexcapade, I decided I wanted to hear him beg.

He was sitting in his computer chair when I decided to pull his shirt almost off, then flip it over the back of his chair so he was “tied” to the chair. Then I knelt in front of him and unbutton his pants.Once he was exposed, I took his penis and started gently stroking it. Lowering my lips, I kissed the glans, then started running my tongue along the length of his shaft. Then, wrapping my DDs around his wet, slick cock, I started rubbing him up and down, telling him how he must be awfully aroused. His penis got harder as I did so. After it was nice and wet, hot, and hard. I stood up.

I moved myself atop of him and slid down his cock. We both moaned with the pleasure of it (it has been a bit). As I started moving up and down, he started to try and lick my nipples. I was having none of that. I told him he hadn’t been good enough for that, he had to just sit there and let me do what I want. I teased that I should “punish” him, moving so only the tip of his penis was just barely between my labia. I started to stroke my clitoris, still only allowing the tip of his penis inside. I think it excited him more that he was being denied pleasure while I was so obviously getting mine. After a while, I was riding him again. Only for a bit, though. It is kinda hard for this Big, Beautiful, NDN Woman to straddle him and the chair, then fuck, for very long.

We moved to the bedroom, were I promptly tied his wrists to the headboard and placed a towel down to catch drips (common practice, as we don’t want to change sheets daily). As he lay before me, inspiration struck. If I was going to be the dominant one, I was going to have my fun. What I wanted to see was him squirming in pleasure as I penetrated his ass with a toy.

As communication is key, I checked if it was OK. This is where I feel we differ from what I often hear as the rules of a scene in BDSM – we can break, temporarily, at any time to negotiate new terms or ideas. It does not detract from the mood, the “scene,” or the fun. I asked him if he would be in the mood, explaining exactly what I wanted to do to him. Good for my mood, he agreed. So he rolled and exposed his ass to my tender care.

With lots of water-based lubricant, I eased the small glow-in-the-dark butt plug into his eager ass. He was gasping and moaning quite satisfactorily. I asked how he was doing, and he made a little moan of delight. I asked if he wanted more, and he said he wasn’t sure, but was willing to try. So I eased out the little one, and got out our mid-sized butt plug. I lubed it up, slowly inserting the tip into his waiting ass. Not sure how quickly to move (as it was our first time using anything bigger), I told him to show me if he wanted more by pushing back on the toy. He obliged and I was rewarded with many gasps and wrigglings of pleasure.

After it was entirely in, I laid him on his back and wiped my hands. He had left a large spot of pre-cum on the towel. Returning my attention to him, I started running my tongue slowly along his shaft. His hands still tied to the headboard, he couldn’t grab my head or shoulders to make me go faster. So he begged. I was in a mood to just eat it all up.

After a bit, I got a length of silk rope, tying a harness around him to keep the toy in his ass and allow him to move around more without losing it. We were curious how it would feel for him to thrust into me while having the toy in. So I climbed on me knees as he knelt behind me. He was harder than usual, moaning much louder, too. His hips moved wildly as he rode the passion.

He came quickly. It surprised us both. Not being used to having anything that big in his ass, he was in a hurry to get it out. he felt the need to use the restroom, a side effect being penetrated, I think. So I undid the harness and had him relax as I gently removed the toy. After he used the restroom, I held him and made sure his body felt ok. I thanked him for letting me fulfill my desires. It was sweet.

Until next time, pleasant fantasies!

Posts coming soon!

Sorry for falling off the map. I will be posting more sexcapades, musings, and reviews, so please stay tuned! I have also been spending some time arranging for some guest bloggers, so look forward to their content as well.

So far, 2015 has been a kinda “dry” year, sexually. We have had a lot of company over, which makes it more difficult to fuck. Even though they wouldn’t likely care, I don’t feel comfortable fucking with guests staying the night. Especially when I know none of them want to hear it.

I still ponder sexcapading with a “playmate” – adding that to hubby and my play, but haven’t exactly wanted to enact the idea. I wonder how it would feel, what it would be like, but the logistics sound crazy – who would do what to whom and when. Not only that, but there is this naggling feeling that it would get too complicated. I grew up in a one-to-one ratio type family (one man, one woman – very Christian upbringing), so the thought of adding another human being fights against that deeply instilled idea. It feels frightening. And what if my husband decides that “playmate” is better than me? He isn’t really interested, so he probably fears I would go off with a good playmate and leave him alone. Very real fears… but I do still wonder what it would be like.

Sometimes I imagine multiple sets of hands on me, what it might be like to have a dick in my mouth as well as my pussy. What if I had someone fucking my breasts as well? Oooh, what about double-penetration with my ass and my pussy? An orgy of multiple people having sex at the same time, while I get it in many ways? The thought makes me wet… until that pesky fear kicks in.

How is your 2015 so far? Any special requests for blog materials? Let me know in the comments!

Post-Japan Reflections

I am sure at least one person out there is curious as to how my trip went. It was fantastic. We did a bunch of touristy things, and tried some of the fun stuff the locals enjoy. We stayed in a few cities, including Tokyo and Kyoto, and a hot spring resort (called a Ryokan, by the way).

As for the tantalizingly yummy details, I learned a few interesting things in Japan that I thought I would share.

1. Sex shops don’t necessarily hide it. There are a number that have the door wide open and you can just go in. One even had blow-up-dolls modeling the shop’s lengerie outside the front door. They also didn’t check ID. You could just waltz right in.

2. Women aren’t usually allowed in the porn video section. I am not kidding. I was not allowed to enter and see what kind of kinky/sexy videos they had for sale, simply because I was blessed with a vagina instead of a penis. How freaking sexist!

3. It is more difficult to find a sex-based themed cafe than popular “sex” culture would lead you to belive. Granted, we weren’t in Shinjuku, where I hear there are a lot more of those kinds of places.

4. There are whole congregations of love hotels. No, really. There were at least a dozen where our love hotel was. We were there for three nights and actually greatly enjoyed the room. It had a great, deep bathtub, and a really big bed. The room was more spacious than a lot of the ones we stayed in, but was cheaper than most of them.

5. You can actually book a love hotel online. They generally don’t have official websites you can book in (often), but you can usually book them through travel agencies. I was kind of surprised it was actually a love hotel, and even more surprised when I walked through the door to the room and heard a porn playing. My friend (who lives in Japan) said it was actually not uncommon for people to rent a love hotel while on vacation. The room was pretty damn well insulated, too.

6. The Japanese porno videos I saw were not all that great. Then again, I generally don’t see many live-action pornos that I do enjoy. I am much more into the animated porn (called Hentai) than I am live-action. Hentai was not available to watch on their video on demand. :( I also, generally, rarely find a porno where people actually seem to be enjoying themselves. Japanese much moreso.

Running amok in Japan

Yes, Hubby and I are getting ready to jump on a jet plane and go run amok in one of the most kinky, fetishist countries in the world. Under the table, of course. I don’t know that walking down the streets one would outright know that any particular building is a sex-shop or love hotel. Apparently one of our cheap hotels is actually a love hotel, according to the description. If it truly is, I will have to take pictures and post it here. ;-)

In other news, we had a positive anal-sex experience. He was laying behind me, grabbing my breasts and fondling my clitoris. I suddenly had the image of being fucked in the ass and the vagina at the same time, and boy did that turn me on. We haven’t any playmates (for various reasons), so the idea was for him to still be behind me and fuck my ass while using the jackrabbit in my vagina. While pleasant during, it wasn’t the best (I am big, remember, and though beautiful, it takes long arms to reach around my curves) for my pleasure. And, after he came, I started getting close, but the sensation of substances (some feces and lots of cum) coming out of my anus was very distracting. And a turn off. :(

However, there was little pain (only when he started pushing too quick… I gotta lead, or it doesn’t work). I count that as a positive.  ;)

Hokay, gotta pack and get moving if we are going to hop this plane and take my BSNDW-ness and his NDN-lover-ness to the land of the rising sun!

To do or not to do: sexy photo shoot?

I am starting to think perhaps I should break my fastidious anonymity and do a sexy photo shoot… I have been pondering this for a while, but still side with “no, not yet.”    I think it is because, outside of my house, this blog, my facebook/twitter for this blog, and my own head… I am very vanilla. I don’t know that my vanilla-world would be accepting of this, especially since I work for a very small healthcare organization. I don’t think they would be pleased to find out that I am a sex-blogger, much less a self-published sexy-model (if I decide to do photos).  I also have very poor self-esteem (which I keep hoping this blog and related social media could help with), I think I would get tons of haters flaming me for even dreaming of feeling sexy. :(

I am thinking of doing #sexyselfiesunday for my twitter account — post a sexy self-photo for Sunday.   Maybe it would increase my self-esteem? But what if vanilla-world found out? Would I get disowned by my very religious family? Fired from my job?

What’s a poor closet-nymphomaniac to do?